Hey Guys,
So my wife said I should write something for this...So I did...and here it is... I hope you like it.

Once in Draynor, dwelt a character named Timbertide. He was a casual fellow with no real ambition for being known in the realm of Gielinor, beyond the odd quest, and no real drive other than lifting seeds from the old Master Farmer in the village (though the poor lad was just as likely to get a bloody nose from the hardened old farmer just as often as he’d get a potato seed).

   One particular morning Ole Tim had brought a load to the Grand Exchange to sell. On his way into town, he spied a couple of town guards paying no heed to any coming or going or to anyone around them. So Tim began to help himself to the contents of the guards pockets. He continued from guard to guard generally impressed with his larceny. Just as he was reaching for a particular guard’s pocket he spied a character he’d never seen before. Her hair was red and done in pigtails. She wore the cape of the Clan Consentus, but what struck him the most was the purple Fairy wings delicately fluttering behind her as she walked by. At the same moment, Ole Tim noticed her his hand went for the guards pouch but he missed and wound up putting his hand in the open end of one of the gloves the guard had placed in his belt.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” The guard shouted as he laid into Tim and knocked him square on his backside in the dirt.

Tim sat stunned for a moment when he heard a voice. “Oh my, he got you good didn’t he?”

Tim looked up to see the red headed character that had distracted him in the first place. She was extending a hand to him. Tim took it and stood.
“Nah” he said trying to not sound like his ears were still ringing...because they were. “Not so bad as any other time.”
“Do you think they’ve gotten stronger? I’ve been hit by a Varrock Guard before and was never knocked flat.” She said.
“Well I wasn’t exactly knocked flat.” he retorted “What could you have done to earn a swing from a Varrock Viking though?” he asked. The stars forming in his eyes were not from the guards fist any longer.
“The same as you silly. A girl’s got to be well-rounded right?” She said with a wink.
“I suppose so. I’ve never seen you around the Exchange before, have I?”
“Oh not for a long time. I practically live in Prif, and since they opened up an exchange there, I just don’t really make it over here much. I’m just here to meet a friend.” She said.
TimberTide replied unusually quickly. “ Well, you just have. I’m TimberTide” He stuck out his hand.”
“Alaklondewen” She returned with a smile. “But you know what I meant.”
“Ok. So this friend you’re meeting is he a ‘Boy Friend’?” he asked leaning against a nearby fencepost. Though he’d not noticed that the fence was covered in mud and his elbow made a great squish, killing the ‘Dashing Young Rouge’ vibe he was shooting for.
“Oh no…” She said giggling.
Tim, at this time, did not know if she was speaking about the gender of her friend or the mud on his elbow.
A cloud passed over the sun and the scene became darker.
“It’s Thursday right?” Alak asked.
“I think so…” Timbertide was replying when a woman across the street screamed.
A Giant red dragon then appeared from the sky. Timbertide had faced her before on a quest but that was long ago. The dragon's attention though seemed to be directed on Alak.
The dragon grabbed her and started to ascend...Alak shouting her protest as her clan cape fell back to earth, and with that. Alaklondewen was gone.
   
   Timbertide could not just stand by and let her be taken, so he gathered up the cloak and off he went. Several moments later Ole Tim found himself on a boat crossing the water and on the mysterious island of Karamja.
He made his way to the entrance of the dragon’s cave. He could hear the unearthly sounds of the creatures in the deep that guard the way to her lair. It was then that TimberTide realized that he had no weapon or armor or food.
Several moments later Ole Tim found himself on a boat crossing the water and back on the mainland racking his brain as to how he could get weapons and food and armor with no money.
Suddenly he remembered the Cape. The Clan! Surely the clan would help rescue her.
Several moments later TimberTide found himself at the doors of the Consentus Citadel.
He knocked on the door.  A pleasant face met him as the door opened, along with the distinct odor of fish. Though the lady’s demeanor and disposition made the odor almost unnoticeable.
“Hello Hello, and Welcome.  I’m Lilly. Have you come to seek entry into the clan?” She asked.
“Well, no, you see there’s been an emergency involving a member of your clan.” TimberTide replied.
“Oh dear that does sound serious. You should join the clan. It will make things easier.” She said.
“Really it won’t take very long. It’s just that Alak…” He was cut off.
“Oh Alak, we love Alak.” Lilly said “Yeah Alak’s Great!” came a voice from inside the citadel.
“Yes she is. She’s so sweet. If you’re a friend of Alak, then you must join the clan.” Lilly insisted.
“She’s why I’m here.”
“You should Join the Clan”
“But she needs help.”
“Just join the clan and we’ll be happy to help.”
“Oh fine…” TimberTide fumed. “What do I need to do?”
“Would you like to join the clan?” Lilly asked with an earnest grin on her face.
“...” if Ole Tim’s eyebrows could speak they’d only of had four letter words at this point.
“...Yes…?”
“You’re now part of the clan!!! What’s your name again?”
“TimberTide”
“TimberTide has joined the clan!!!”.
“Welcome!” The word seemed to come from everywhere all at once. Suddenly faces came from all over. From behind pillars and bushes and the door jam. Dozens of characters all appeared at once as if the entire clan appeared out of the ether.
“Now what is it you need help with?” Lilly asked in earnest.
“Alak has been kidnapped by a Dragon!”
There were a great number of groans and ‘Oh is that all’s’.
“You’ve not known her very long have you?” Lilly asked.
“We’d just met when the dragon attacked.”
“Is it Thursday?”
“Yeah I think so.”
“Ok so what do you need?” Lilly asked, restraining a smile from her face.
“I intend to rescue her, though I’ve no armor, or weapon, or food, or gold.”
“Fish…” Lilly said. “Come with me. Sissy, you come too.” A young girl stepped up from somewhere and they both followed Lilly inside the Citadel.
They went down several hallways until they stopped at a large wooden door barred with an iron bolt.
“Stand Back.’ Lilly warned. She threw open the bolt and opened the door. And a mountain of fish flooded out into the hallway. “Take all you can carry”
“Lilly…” Sissy asked “Is this your room?”
“Why yes” She replied
“Then where do you sleep?” Sissy asked
“Why in my room silly goose. Now run along and help TimberTide ‘rescue’ Alak,” Lilly said restraining a laugh.
“Ok… follow me.” Sissy directed TimberTide, arms full of fish and all, down a nearby hallway.
“So how can I help you?”
“Well I still need armor and a weapon. So if you’ve got anything to make me not be dead that would be great.”
They stopped in front of what Ole Tim could only assume was Sissy’s room. She went inside and came out with an armful of pointy shiny things.
“Lucky for you I just gained a smithing level.”
“Huh?”
“Take this. It’s an adamant Battleaxe.”
“Oh yeah, that’s the ticket.”
“And a mithril platebody,”
“Alright.”
“And a mithril plate Kilt.”
“A what?” Timbertide asked.
“A Mithril Plate Kilt.”
“Isn’t that a skirt?”
“Well when you're a boy, it’s called a kilt.”
“You expect me to go into battle in a skirt?”
“I do.”
“Yes, but you’re a girl”
“You’re a boy. It’s a kilt.”
“It’s a Skirt.”
“It’s the best I can do. It’s better than nothing.”
So TimberTide put on the body and the skirt and took up the axe and was off again.
Sissy wondered to herself if TimberTide had an anti dragon shield.” But Goebiebands was only ten minutes away, so off she went.
   Several moments later, TimberTide found himself once again at the mouth of the Dragon’s cave and boldly entered. A bag of fish on his back. A warm draft met his nether regions, and the smell of fish wafted over his shoulder. He wondered if he should have stopped to cook them.
 Too late. The skeletal soldiers stepped into the path and the battle began.
More skeletons and zombies and a demon came to the fray and with all the skill he could muster TimberTide slew them one by one as he made his way toward the dragon’s chamber.
   “Oh, Oh NO!” came a shriek from the chamber down the passageway.
TimberTide finally reached the end of the passage and the Dragon’s chamber.
The beast’s back was to him. TimberTide seized his chance to attack.
“For Gielinor, for Consentus, For Alaklondewen!” Ole Tim shouted as he raised his axe and charged at the dragon.
The Dragon turned around and took a step back revealing a sight which stopped TimberTide’s charge in it’s tracks.
You see, when the Dragon stepped aside, she revealed the fair Alaklondewen seated on the opposite side of a dainty table set for tea.

“TimberTide. you’re here!”
“Yes I’m here to rescue … you…?”
“Why?”
“Well the dragon swooped down and took you and you were crying out in fear and then you were gone.”
“I was only crying out because I dropped my clan cape. Elva was just picking me up for our Thursday tea.”
“Tea?”
“Oh yes, every Thursday for years. Everyone knows. You see when I did the ‘Dragon Slayer Quest’ I dropped a red berry pie and after I’d gone Elva here found it and just fell in love with them. She came and found me to get the recipe and I said, oh no, that’s silly. I’ll just bring some by the next time I’m in the neighborhood and she asked when and I said next Thursday and she said, well then, you must come for tea. So I did. And we’ve just been doing it for an awfully long time. And why are you wearing a skirt?”
“Well you see…” TimberTide started.
“Oh five minutes to Goebiebands!” and with that she drew a circle in the earth and disappeared.
“Oh Hello…” TimberTide looked up to great the dragon her nostrils flaring and filled with smoke.
   Several moments later TimberTide awoke in Burthorp.
“Ha, so that’s what dying is like.”
   Several more moments later TimberTide was back at the doors of the Clan Citadel. Ole Tim entered the main hall to find Sissy and Alak speaking together.
TimberTide approached them...still blackened from the dragon fire.
“Your axe, your body, your skirt. I don’t have enough gold to pay death to keep any of the fish.”
Alak looked at him with a sympathetic stare.
“Oh So Elva was upset that I left. Poor Girl I should pop over and see her tomorrow.”
“I’ll go with you.” Sissy said
“Great idea. Oh have you capped yet?” Alaklondewen asked Sissy.

The End.