Consentus
Clan Forum => Debates => Debates archive => Topic started by: RoXanne on November 01, 2012, 00:20:31
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Before posting my own point of view (which can be predicted if you know a bit about me), I will simply ask; what is your stance on same-sex couples having children from a sperm donor/adopting children?
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As long as the parents are responsible and love their kids, I see no problem whatsoever except from the stereotypical "Wtf" there's 100% nothing wrong with it. Although, you have to think that with todays society do you want your kids to be put through the hell of bullying from other dense children.
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Bullying happens all the time unfortunately, they wouldn't have to know your parents are gay. Its no different then a man and woman having children imo.
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I am completely for same-sex couples having children, to put it frankly.
Also, about the possibility of children being bullied: I agree with what Amy said. Also, being homosexual is becoming a lot more socially acceptable in Schools and the workplace. I know of many people who are coming clean about their sexuality and are receiving nothing but support from fellow students. Just 10 years ago you would've been maliciously bullied by many for this. I can see having homosexual parents becoming more socially acceptable soon as well, if not already. Being open minded is a positive thing which more and more people are becoming.
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In my view..
For two girls, not that weird at all. For two guys, a tad weird. I remember the saying, mother's knows best. As long as they love the child, thats all that matters.
I think it would be a different upbringing, as having two fathers, or two mothers will be pretty confusing. I mean, two fathers, who is the actual father, and who is then your biological mother? It can lead to all kinds of questions.
It is a tough subject, if the child is loved, the child is in a good home. However, when the child grows up, he/she asks questions and can lead to many problems in my opinion.
Ah well, thats my view.
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However, when the child grows up, he/she asks questions and can lead to many problems in my opinion.
They would ask questions around the ages 8-9 and at that age they still learn. If from that young age they are told (not in depth) that their parents are a couple, it would help them understand such things in the future. It shouldn't lead to problems if being homosexual is natural. The child would grow up simply thinking its normal and therefore have no issues with it.
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However, when the child grows up, he/she asks questions and can lead to many problems in my opinion.
They would ask questions around the ages 8-9 and at that age they still learn. If from that young age they are told (not in depth) that their parents are a couple, it would help them understand such things in the future. It shouldn't lead to problems if being homosexual is natural. The child would grow up simply thinking its normal and therefore have no issues with it.
Wasn't referring to questions regarding homosexuality.
More about their biological parents. The case in the relationship, only one (or maybe neither) may be the biological parent. Every child would like to know the story behind their 'real' parents, and it is something that will always be asked when they grow up/
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I'm all for same sex marriages. I'm all for it. 100%.
If the parents are responsible and loving, I see no problem with them having children.
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Children would still ask, if they had straight parents who weren't related to them biologically. However, if you're in care you are told about your biological parents, unless of course you are a baby at the time.. but they tell you at a young age everything, it would be cruel otherwise ;c
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Children would still ask, if they had straight parents who weren't related to them biologically. However, if you're in care you are told about your biological parents, unless of course you are a baby at the time.. but they tell you at a young age everything, it would be cruel otherwise ;c
Of course.
Also, I wonder if the childs social behaviour would be affected. For a bully, say for example if you had two fathers, the child would be a target for many bullies. I know it can be a case for any child, but for children around the same age as the child, they won't understand it and it may be a case until the child is an adult. If the child is in a bullying loop, since he is a prime target, it may lead to difficult situations.
I need to stop thinking. Sleepy time.
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Very true, but other children wouldn't need to know the child has gay parents ;o
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I strangely disagree with same sex couples having children. I personally would never have a child with my male partner because I believe a child would need both a mother and father figure. I'm not downgrading single parenthood or anything. But I would want my child to have the option to have the comfort and advice from two different sexes.
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In my opinion, I also disagree with same sex couples having children.
I couldn't bear the 'bullying' that the child will have to go through if others knew about this
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my mate grew up with two dads because her dad came out when she was a baby and her mum left. She wasn't bullied at all all the way through school, hehe if anything she helped me out when things were tough for me.
Sometimes kids understand these things better than adults, you don't say no to something because someone might be bullied. Surely you support and continue to educate kids that bullying in any form is wrong.
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my mate grew up with two dads because her dad came out when she was a baby and her mum left. She wasn't bullied at all all the way through school, hehe if anything she helped me out when things were tough for me.
Sometimes kids understand these things better than adults, you don't say no to something because someone might be bullied. Surely you support and continue to educate kids that bullying in any form is wrong.
That's actually a valid point, kind of persuaded me a tad, but if I were in a situation like this, I'd just want what is best for the child
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my mate grew up with two dads because her dad came out when she was a baby and her mum left. She wasn't bullied at all all the way through school, hehe if anything she helped me out when things were tough for me.
Sometimes kids understand these things better than adults, you don't say no to something because someone might be bullied. Surely you support and continue to educate kids that bullying in any form is wrong.
That's actually a valid point, kind of persuaded me a tad, but if I were in a situation like this, I'd just want what is best for the child
Bullying is going to happen whether the child is straight or gay, black or white, small or tall. It sucks, but it's inevitable. There's no point in arguing against same sex couples having children with bullying being a factor. It should be about the parents and how well they are with telling the children about their sexual preferences.
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This is an interesting topic. Honestly, I think it shouldn't matter what your sexual preference is, as long as you're responsible and not a bad person.
This video has a thing about that, it's from a news channel on youtube called SourceFed.
Warning, they say the f word once and the d word or men's parts like 19 times.
Being Gay Makes You Better?! aka How to Alienate your Audience on Day 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWaiWcUlZTQ#ws)
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I agree tbh. If the couple can give the child a good upbringing then why not? I see all these posts about bullying but it's like Aghast said, not matter what the reason bullying can happen. If they can make it work then why not?
Also, Tommy said before about getting advice from two different sexes? I don't mean this to sound aweful in any way but there is more than one type of gay person. There are two that I work with and one is very manly to the point you almost wouldn't guess he's gay and the other is very camp, loud and quite feminine.. In a family with those parents I still think you'd get a wide range of advice from both parent's prespective.
I read a comment before about people being more comfortable about homosexuallity in schools and in the workplace nowadays in comparison to say, 10 years ago. I think this is because today's 'lads' are becomming more feminine than ever. You see straight men today having totally hairless bodies, wearing make-up and spending more time in the mirror than most women do!
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I am in favour of same-sex couples. So long as both parents are loving then why is there a problem? Bullying happens any way, even if you have 'normal' parents.
I'd like to eventually have a same-sex child.
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A good discussion going on here, that's great :)
I strangely disagree with same sex couples having children. I personally would never have a child with my male partner because I believe a child would need both a mother and father figure. I'm not downgrading single parenthood or anything. But I would want my child to have the option to have the comfort and advice from two different sexes.
You jumped ahead of my counter-argument by saying that about single parenthood, so I'll skip that part. I will answer you on the advice from two different sexes part. Lots of people usually use the word "role model" here, so I'll add that to the reply.
I will use my own situation as an example. I am bisexual. I have a girlfriend. If we want a child (not for a long time though!) we have a lot of male people around us - both myself and my girlfriend have two brothers, so that makes four uncles for the child, along with two grandfathers. What I'm trying to say is that it is very rare for a child of a same sex couple to not have at least a possible role model in their life, of the opposite sex of their parents. The sentence gets a bit complicated, but I think you'll understand what I mean.
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To all the people who mentioned bullying; I came out when I was 15. Indeed, some people were biased, didn't want to deal with me anymore because of their (in my eyes extreme form of) religion, or (if they were girls) because they were afraid I'd fall in love with them. I was never actually bullied though.
I can see, however, how children will bully other children over something like this. Children can be downright mean. If they want to bully you, they will always find a reason; whether that is the way they dress themselves, or their haircut, the place they live, the way they smell, or indeed if their parents are homosexual/bisexual. If a child is mentally strong it won't satisfy the bullies and they'll move on to another victim - that's how it's always gone. There are differences though. I'd suggest you read page 3 of this research: http://www.cfr.cam.ac.uk/news/documents/StonewallReport.pdf (http://www.cfr.cam.ac.uk/news/documents/StonewallReport.pdf). You can read the key findings there about children of gay parents and their lives, especially at school.
A quote from this research I'd like to add here, because it struck me, is "Some people make judgements about what it’s like to have gay parents. They think children will have a certain type of life and not as good an upbringing. Children with gay parents can find these judgements upsetting.". It's good to think about this.
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I am in favour of same-sex couples. So long as both parents are loving then why is there a problem? Bullying happens any way, even if you have 'normal' parents.
I'd like to eventually have a same-sex child.
I think you'll do great. :D
I read a comment before about people being more comfortable about homosexuallity in schools and in the workplace nowadays in comparison to say, 10 years ago. I think this is because today's 'lads' are becomming more feminine than ever. You see straight men today having totally hairless bodies, wearing make-up and spending more time in the mirror than most women do!
That was me and I agree with what you've just said but I also think it's due to today's society being more open-minded and not conforming as much to religious views as to 50 years ago or whatever.
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0842926/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0842926/)
This is a good movie for same sex lesbian couple with kids if you've not seen.
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I read a comment before about people being more comfortable about homosexuallity in schools and in the workplace nowadays in comparison to say, 10 years ago. I think this is because today's 'lads' are becomming more feminine than ever. You see straight men today having totally hairless bodies, wearing make-up and spending more time in the mirror than most women do!
That was me and I agree with what you've just said but I also think it's due to today's society being more open-minded and not conforming as much to religious views as to 50 years ago or whatever.
Sadly, religion plays a big part in this. Don't judge (i know you won't) but i'm very religious, and I still believe in same-sex marriage. Just because the church says it wrong doesn't mean it's wrong. This is one part of religion i fucking despise. It gets me so mad. But i digress for now.
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I read a comment before about people being more comfortable about homosexuallity in schools and in the workplace nowadays in comparison to say, 10 years ago. I think this is because today's 'lads' are becomming more feminine than ever. You see straight men today having totally hairless bodies, wearing make-up and spending more time in the mirror than most women do!
That was me and I agree with what you've just said but I also think it's due to today's society being more open-minded and not conforming as much to religious views as to 50 years ago or whatever.
Sadly, religion plays a big part in this. Don't judge (i know you won't) but i'm very religious, and I still believe in same-sex marriage. Just because the church says it wrong doesn't mean it's wrong. This is one part of religion i fucking despise. It gets me so mad. But i digress for now.
About men now days, a term such as 'new man' is used for the new image that some men project to society. Characteristics don't normally include a stereotypical man, but tbh norms change throughout time, society comes to terms with something that isn't seen as normal for example homosexuality. Unfortunatley religion only accept civil partnership for a gay couple? But it just goes to show how much more its tolerated. As time goes on, it won't be an issue anymore, it might be with some people, but not as much as it is now. Same sex couples adopting is seen OK from what i've seen; eventually no one will care, society is probably still coming to grips with the whole idea.